It’s happening again. That sinking feeling that begins in your chest and sticks with you the entire day. You want to cry, but you know you can’t allow yourself to. Instead you bottle it up and put on a brave face. You smile, you go through the motions of being alive. I keep wishing something would happen to me, like I would be innocently crossing the street and a car would just hit me. I feel like there’s no purpose to my existence. I feel like there’s no one I can talk to, because everyone is just going to tell me everything will be okay, but they don’t know that. They can’t guarantee it. Other people would try to tell me that I’m really a good person, that there’s no reason for these thoughts to be running in the background of my mind constantly.
I feel hopeless, I wish I was stronger. I don’t want pity, I just want solutions, I don’t want to feel this way anymore and I don’t know how to stop it.
I’m afraid. I’m really scared that I might need help.
I feel lost.
